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Joke of the Day

"Billy where is your homework? ""im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it"""

"New Series For The The History Channel The History Channel is planning a new series, ""Airline Tragedies."" They are putting the pilot together as I write this."

"My cousin is having trouble with the mods on Reddit... ...he's my cousin twice [removed]"

"Put a pill in wife's mouth while asleep ""WTF you doing?"" ""for your headache."" ""I don't have one!"" Just what I wanted to hear! *unzip flys"

"I ordered my latte wrong at that new gypsy coffee place and now my shadow is a horse shadow"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child? Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window."

"Having trouble keeping track of which celebrities are alive and which ones are dead? Here, use my Heath ledger."

"Firemen are always really friendly, until they figure out it was you that started the fire."

"You know a girl is serious when they say your name in a text."

"You might not be a Bulls fan, but I know you felt it when this D rose."