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Joke of the Day

"I've conditioned myself to only poop at work. Now my bathroom smells great but I can't take more than 2 days off w/o terrible constipation."

"Why was the guitar teach arrested? For fingering a minor."

"What do porn viewers and Donald Trump have in common? They ctrl+alt+delete the history thru don't want anyone to find"

"Is your cat getting enough Chinese food? The answer may surprise you. Mews at 11. NEWS. I said ""news"". Just like a typing human would. What."

"Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?"

"The man who invented anagrams has died. May he erect a penis."

"1.How does a elephant hide in the jungle? 2.What is the Loudest sound in the jungle? 1.Paints its balls red and climbs up a apple tree. 2.Tarzan picking apples."

"A Muslim woman said she likes her mem like she likes her cottage cheese Large kurd"

"How do you tell a Communist joke? Repeatedly."

"""Hey, did you see that article about cats invading the internet?"" ""Yeah, I reddit."""