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Joke of the Day

"What do porn viewers and Donald Trump have in common? They ctrl+alt+delete the history thru don't want anyone to find"

"What do you call a German grocery store that carries everything but fish? Not Sea Food."

"Rethink everything in your life if you're one of the 43,000 people making comments on an instagram photo of Kylie Jenner stretching."

"DOCTOR: I have some bad news. You have HIV ROMAN: What?! DOCTOR: Do you have any questions at this time? ROMAN: Yes, wtf is H4?"

"Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who's sick of her bull shit."

"Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Talked to someone today about remaining human when society crumbles. Was told to ""please pull up to the window."""

"Why were the students confused by the gay kid's performance in school? He was getting straight D's"

"They called it Twitter because Everybody Poops was taken."

"Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, ""Suck what?"""

"When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though* Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer*"