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Joke of the Day

"Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?"

"I was so happy to hear Apple added a new camera feature.. With the addition of panorama I can finally send dick pics to my ex wife!!"

"When anyone says they've embarrassed themselves enough for one day, I smile, nod and think 'that kind of limit sounds nice'"

"My dream car is just Shaq dressed like a fireman carrying me everywhere like he just rescued me from a burning building"

"What do you call a jazz musician without a girlfriend? Homeless"

"They should sell flags for fake countries so people can burn them without offending anyone."

"Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door."

"If you had a gun with 1 bullet and you see Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton chilling in a boat in pacific ocean who would you shoot? I'd shoot god damn fucking boat because both deserves to sink."

"What state makes exclusively swiss cheese? Swisconsin."

"I like my women how I like my microwaves Cold on the inside and killing every baby you put into them."