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Joke of the Day
"Diet and exercise pro tip: Eat only on the days you are going to have sex."
Next Joke
"I had to tell my toddler not to step on the baby. Four times. All my grandchildren from her will be cats."
"Why were the dinosaurs so big? Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures"
"What did one tree say to the other? Nothing. They bark."
"Mrs. Potato Head: OH MY GOD! Mr. Potato Head: What? Mrs. PH: Your browser history. Mr. PH: I can explain! Mrs. PH: TATER TOTS YOU PERVERT?!?"
"Mr. Wong and Ms. Chin get married and have a baby. The baby comes out white. Being a little confused, Mr. Wong asks the doctor about this. Doctor says, ""Two wongs make a white""."
"I like my coffee the way I like my women... Anyway I can get them."
"My jokes are like hot chicks... Hard to get, and once you do they're not nearly as good as you thought they'd be."
"You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off."
"I had no idea time zones were so far apart...Just landed in China and it's fucking New Year apparently."