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Joke of the Day

"Diet and exercise pro tip: Eat only on the days you are going to have sex."

"The museum curator was able to identify the slutty violin... ...it was a Straddlevarious :("

"My friends think I'm racist for wanting Hitler to have finished what he started... Is it really that bad that I like his art?"

"What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school? Not only have you let me down, you've let yourself down, and you've let the whole school down!"

"Entered into a hot potato competition today. It really got outta hand."

"Impotence: Nature's way of saying ""No hard feelings""."

"Statistics show that six out of seven dwarves aren't happy"

"Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green? It was Saint Patrick's Day."

"If you want to setup a company and run it Then that's your business."

"HR: You're late. Do you even know what time it is? Thor: Hammer time? HR: Get out."