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Joke of the Day

"How we know that God is not an engineer When designing the human body, an engineer would not run a sewer line through a recreational area."

"If a girl stabbed me on our first date, how many days should I wait to ask her out again?"

"How loud is John Cena? #xDb"

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is taco ME: four please JUDGE: we're not- ME: with chips JUDGE: ordering ME: *lips on mic* extra guac"

"My wife made fun of my (admittedly) ugly balls again. I shall now drop the charade that I am a ""feminist."""

"Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving..."

"I'm 100% sure Zebra's didn't earn those things."

"What's the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates"

"My friends definitely cannot handle their alcohol. Last night they dropped me 3 times carrying me out of the bar"

"What's the best way to get a hold of Vin Diesel? IM Groot. : D Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lvlj1u9S258"