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Joke of the Day

"Me: My friend really likes you. Her: I'm a lesbian. Me: Ah ok... Her: ... Me: ... Her: ... Me: So... What part of Lesbia are you from?"

"You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter."

"I like my men like I like my coffee black, ground up and in the freezer."

"Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion."

"Why are Slavs always squatting? what else is there to do while you're waiting in line?"

"I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground."

"Still in line for the iPhone 5. I'm the only one here. Thinking this might actually be an abandoned Radio Shack. Still, gonna be worth it!"

"How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. They will just keep reposting the same lightbulb."

"HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO, OR AS IT'S KNOWN AS IN ARIZONA, ""CINCO DE WHAT-O? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST-O, PACO"""

"Brother: Which is farther away- NY City or the moon? Sister: NY City. Why do ask? Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City."