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Joke of the Day

"A man lost $100 bill Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."

"Just got a holiday card from a doctor addressed to the dead guy who used to live here. Sending back a card that says ""You suck at your job."""

"Let's talk about the elephant in the room. I apologize for bringing it in here last night. There was alcohol involved. Can we keep him?"

"Featuring tweets in an article is a newspaper's version of giving up and wearing sweatpants everywhere."

"Funny joke I heard during christmas Two nuns are sitting in a tub and one says to the other ""where's the soap"" and the other nun replies ""yes it does""."

"TIL Hours before Edison died , he came out of coma , opened his eyes and said ""It is very beautiful over there"" Well tesla said it first anyways."

"Why should I have to take a first aid course? Why is this on me? Why don't you take a ""how to eat sandwiches without choking"" course?"

"I'm thinking of maybe giving up on my Olympic dream."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alceste ! Alceste who ? Alceste to meet him later !"

"I'm unclear on that of which you speak. Please elaborate, Willis."