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Joke of the Day

"Let's talk about the elephant in the room. I apologize for bringing it in here last night. There was alcohol involved. Can we keep him?"

"Definition of ""copulate""...... What an Italian police sergeant says to a tardy patrolman."

"How to emberass an acrchaeologist? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

"My parents are always pestering me to have kids. ""Who will carry on the ancient family curse?"" they say."

"My girlfriend asked if I could play wonderwall. I said ""maybe"""

"Where did vampires go to first in America? New-fang-land."

"I went to the shops to get eight cans of sprite. But when i was walking back i realized Id only picked 7 up"

"How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, as long as they can find a way in."

"Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket? In case Johnny Onion Rings!"

"""Have a nice day at the plant!"" -wife caterpillar to husband caterpillar in the morning"