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Joke of the Day

"Featuring tweets in an article is a newspaper's version of giving up and wearing sweatpants everywhere."

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitos from dying needlessly from AIDS. - Jimmy Carr"

"Finishing up my time machine. Bolting down the flux capacitor now. I'll start small and go back a couple of seconds just to see if it works."

"LPT: Never trust anyone who says ""trust me"". Trust me on this."

"Sunset The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain't good."

"What kind of money do fishermen make ? Net profits !"

"If I had a nickel for every racist thing I've ever said I'd have a small loan of a million dollars."

"My math paper had a question involving finding the expectation of a die roll. It took me a moment to figure out what it means"

"What do you call a huge pile of cats? A Meowntain"

"Me: Okay... Time for bed. Brain: Cool. Me: Brain: Me: Brain: If you had a pterodactyl, would you name him Terry... or Perry??"