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Joke of the Day

"I'm unclear on that of which you speak. Please elaborate, Willis."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in 8 days because she hates it when I interrupt her"

"A party was held for current and former actors where you had to come as your favourite musician. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what he was going to wear, his response was I'll be Bach"

"I accidentally swallowed some scrabble pieces. My next shit could spell disaster."

"Glue is weird it's all like hey I want to stick these pieces of paper together wait I have an idea hand me that dead horse"

"My wife and I agreed to only smoke after sex. I've had the same pack of cigarettes for 6 months... She's up to 2 packs a day."

"If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella how come none of them got wet? Because it wasn't raining."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? BECAUSE 7 8 9 HAAHAHA Wait..."

"HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO, OR AS IT'S KNOWN AS IN ARIZONA, ""CINCO DE WHAT-O? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST-O, PACO"""

"How do you know Jesus is okay with gays? Because he had two dads"