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Joke of the Day

"whats the difference between an old dirty subway and a lobster with breast implants one is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean"

"How did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank coffee, before it was cool."

"The Baby Boomers decided to leave us with one last present. This Presidential election."

"I spent the day in nature and by nature I mean drinking beer on a golf course. I saw a butterfly."

"You know, after all these years, I hardly remember the first girlfriend I had. I remember she was Muslim, but physically, all I can recall are the beautiful hazel eyes Jihad."

"Technically, a bus driver is anyone who drives a bus, Officer."

"What do you call a cow that had an abortion.... Decalfeinated. Thank you, I'll show myself out now."

"last night my dog shit on the floor then at some point the Roomba came and smeared it all over the house :D"

"Snow White actually hallucinated the Seven Dwarves the whole time. She was a high hoe."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the mountains."