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Joke of the Day

"last night my dog shit on the floor then at some point the Roomba came and smeared it all over the house :D"

"What does Las Vegas have in common with Scotland? Not a lot, but in both you can pay for sex with chips."

"I saw a boat with a sign that said ""For Sale"" so I added an ""ing"" to the end. Fucking idiots are lucky I came along."

"Ever had sex while camping? It's intents."

"What do you call a Mexican who likes little kids? A pedrophile."

"What is the meaning of afford? It's the car most sales representatives drive."

"Just bought a 2013 calender, a rope and a stool. I like to keep the store clerk guessing."

"I bet whenever a cow eats a lot of grass she says to her friends ""I've been eating like a cow!"" and they'd laugh and moo or whatever cows do"

"NSFW - Two dildos are in a drawer... One of them sighs. So the other asks, ""Soft day at work?"""

"MY NANA WAS A FREAK IN THE SACK. Now granted, we didn't stuff her in that sack often, but boy would she freak out when we did."