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Joke of the Day

"You don't need to hold a girl's hand during an abortion... There's a handrail next to the toilet."

"Why are Canadians atheist? Because they are Eh-theists."

"I like my women like I like my peanut butter Chunky."

"Almost arrived at work when my kid asked ""Where're we going?"" Who the hell did I just drop off at school?!"

"Next time you are in a restaurant, give this a thought. The fork you are using has been in the mouth of hundreds of people. Now look at the people eating right by you. Scary, right?"

"I'm hoping someone puts razor blades in my daughter's Halloween candy this year because those things are ridiculously expensive."

"You wanna hear the best joke of the year? Your belt size."

"The irony of war is that The ones who are right are the ones left."

"My Asian girlfriend says that a small dick is no problem, although I'd prefer if she didn't had one."

"Little Old Lady Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel!"