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Joke of the Day

"I'm hoping someone puts razor blades in my daughter's Halloween candy this year because those things are ridiculously expensive."

"What sort of soup do skeletons like? One with plenty of body in it."

"Why are male bathrooms on the left, and female bathrooms on the right? Because no matter what, women are always right, even when they're full of shit."

"What's white and crawls up your leg? Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice"

"""I love you. I love you. Pay attention to me. I love you. Ok I'm fed now. I HATE YOU DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!"" - Cats"

"Another blonde joke A professor told his class: ""Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"" A blonde asked, ""Who is 'Seed'?"""

"What Social Media site do the undead use? Tomblr."

"What do you call a man with a one inch penis? Justin."

"Why is the computer so aggressive? It bytes"

"I had no idea time zones were so far apart...Just landed in China and it's fucking New Year apparently."