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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer. What do you call a blind deer with no legs? Still no eye deer. What do you call a blind deer with no legs or sexual organs? Still no fucking eye deer."

"One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you."

"If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand."

"How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake? It has a rattle."

"Why was Hitler so obsessed about getting into heaven? Because there were 6 million Jews waiting for him in hell."

"You don't need to wear clothes in public if you can run fast enough."

"Most of my workday is me thinking what my couch is doing right now."

"Nice beard bro looks like you just ate a bunch of lollipops then made out with your cat"

"Why did Toby rape a girl? He couldn't Turner on"

"When a boy falls, what does he fall against? His will"