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Joke of the Day

"One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you."

"What did the escalator say to the elevator? Nothing, he just staired."

"How do Mexicans keep their food warm? Chicken Fajitas."

"Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite."

"Why do so many dyslexic vegans move to Dallas? For the Sallad"

"My boss texted me... My boss texted me: ""Send me one of your funny jokes"" I replied: ""I will send you one l8r, I'm working right now"" He replied: ""LMAO, send me another one!"""

"[ambulance] medic: sir do you need oxygen me: no dying is fine"

"How do I change the ring on my phone to an onion ring?"

"Autocorrect will be the dress of me"

"[NSFW] A guy accidentally took sleeping pills instead of Viagra... he couldn't get up."