18396

Joke of the Day

"What do they call aborted fetuses in Prague? Cancelled Czechs."

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's probably shit."

"*puts on Rocky theme music* *cracks neck* *cracks knuckles* *stretches* *jogs in place* *picks up phone to call mom*"

"If I was a villain, I would follow superheroes to their normal human interviews for jobs & note what they answer as their biggest weaknesses"

"To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you.. You have my Word."

"Burger King employee: what size [drink] would you like? Me (thinking she said 'side'): fries. BK: What? Me: *more forcefully* fries."

"Why are pigs such early risers? Did you ever try to shut off a rooster?"

"How many Ukrainians does it take to screw a lightbulb? You don't need to, they glow in the dark."

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 2. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: ""If y'ignore 'er, ya score 'er."""

"What's hairy and has five fingers? A thalidomide's armpit"