97079

Joke of the Day

"I keep missing my ex-girlfriend. But my aim is getting better."

"1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes."

"Why was 9 mad at 0 after winning a game of bingo? Because 0 1 2"

"Rosie O'Donnell is such a hipster ...she hated Trump before it was cool."

"There should be a sequel song about needing a ride back from Funkytown."

"The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend... ...I said to her, ""Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy."" She said, ""Why did you say that twice?"" I said, ""I didn't."""

"Went to the Doctor Yesterday... Went to the Doctor yesterday, he thinks I suffer from Paranoia... Well, he didn't say that, but I know he is thinking it!"

"Maybe it's the PCP, but have you guys noticed that flaming dude that floats around your head in a bubble shaved his mustache?"

"Seems like ladies hate being asked how their Thanksgiving was, no matter how playfully I pat their stomachs."

"I thought about doing anal But I figured my dick has gotten me in enough shit already"