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Joke of the Day

"Obama has suspended fund raising activities In light of Mitt Romney's recent statements to the press, President Obama has decided to let Mitt Romney do his campaigning for him."

"He has the grocery Liszt What did the musician say to his wife when he went out to the supermarket? I'm going Chopin, I'll be Bach in a minuet."

"Rape Baby A guy goes to job interview. His employer asks how his parents met. He says he is a rape baby. The boss asks if he mom is Christen. The guy asks how do you know?"

"I've been to Iraq twice and Afghanistan once. Still not as scary as my ex's number popping up on my phone this morning."

"I don't always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment."

"I wish I could get bitten by a radioactive confident person."

"Who took care of German army dogs after the war? Veteran Aryans"

"How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer."

"Me:Everything you know about me is a lie.Coworker:So you didnt dance naked in the fountain at the mall?Me: Everything other than that."

"Next year for Halloween I think I will be a dead chrysanthemum.... Then when people ask ""WTF are you"", I will reply and say ""I am a chrysanthemummy!"""