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Joke of the Day

"The LIKE button: also for choosing sides in a Facebook argument without saying anything."

"7: I need a pet pig so I can always have bacon. Me: There are some fundamental flaws in your plan but I like the way you think."

"What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game."

"Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9."

"Why should you never go down on a girl the morning after a night of sex? ..ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday 13th.The next day he won the lottery"

"If Netflix asks if you're still watching, tell the truth. I didn't & missed the first time my Netflix rode a bicycle on its own"

"I like when a restaurant has cloth napkins, 'cause then I can unroll them with the calculated fervor of an assassin surveying his tools."

"Vanilla Ice: if there was a problem, yo I'll solve it... [Guy from back of concert]: why did my dad leave?"

"Why did the L.A. riots last only 4 days? Everyone knows black people can't work a full week."