20795

Joke of the Day

"3rd eye: youre on drugs 4th eye: youre a nerd 5th-7th eyes: ??? 8th eye: you are now a spider 9th eye: spider on drugs 16th eye: nerd spider"

"What do you think Jesus' favorite gun would be? A nail gun"

"My neighbour wrongly accused me of property theft. I didn't take a fence."

"No relationship is perfect so you might as well pick the perfect person you want to go through hell with"

"I've never had personalized license plates, but don't worry, I still know how to waste most of my discretionary income."

"Yay! The healthcare reform bill passed! Waitress, a round of celebratory abortions for all my friends!"

"The UN general assembly."

"If I ever need to ask for directions, I will find an Asian person, because who better to help me get Oriented?"

"How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck chuck could chuck wood? None because only beavers give a dam."

"You'll never believe how much this girl paid me to have sex with her...... One vagina."