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Joke of the Day
"What do old people with Alzheimer's often say? I don't remember."
Next Joke
"What do you call a bird with big boobs? A para-teet."
"Did you hear about the guy who died after eating chicken? The meat was fowl."
"I'm so happy I finally tied the knot. Now I've just got to kick the chair she's standing on and I'm a free man!"
"I suffer from a rare condition called OCDC, which forces me to salute all of those who are about to rock."
"Oh thank goodness, you posted another selfie. I almost forgot what you looked like since the selfie 5 minutes ago."
"Wife: There's a spider in the kids' bedroom Me: I'll take care of it *raises spider like one of my own* *has a little cry when it graduates*"
"Where would you find an Egyptian psychopathic swimmer? In denial."
"I need to lay off the caffeine. My neighbor keeps complaining that I'm tackling her much more than usual"
"What does the calm zombie say to the agitated zombie? Decompose yourself."