199847

Joke of the Day

"Oh thank goodness, you posted another selfie. I almost forgot what you looked like since the selfie 5 minutes ago."

"What kind of money do snowmen use? Iced lolly."

"I can't believe this paper went to college, let alone thought it ruled"

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"I asked a friend of mine from New Zealand how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but he fell asleep."

"The only thing worse than finding out you were given up for adoption would be finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up."

"How to lose an argument with an idiot - 1 Argue."

"My friend Phillip got his lip removed yesterday.. we call him Phil now"

"""How about if the villain is a psychopath out to make a skin suit?"" - Not in a kids movie, dude. ""Ok, but it's puppy skin?"" - Oh, then YES!"

"TIFU by eating my coworkers sandwich instead of mine. oops wrong sub."