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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator? A: He didn't want to see the salad dressing."

"When you open your heart to someone, there is blood. Lots and lots of blood. And then you die. So don't open your heart."

"What did the scientist say at the bar? I'd like some H20 please."

"It amazes me at how dirty minded most of you single women are. What amazes me more is how you clean that mind after you get wifed."

"*Slowly breaks up with you, word by word, during a game of Scrabble."

"What's the most flexible type of music group? An elastic band."

"I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off."

"Please donate to my gofundme to replace the laptop i threw across the room in anger after my last gofundme failed"

"special thanks to people on yahoo answers who have asked literally every question ive ever googled"

"Yo Mama So Poor.... She can't afford to fly off the handle, when she gets mad, she has to greyhound off the handle."