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Joke of the Day

"*Slowly breaks up with you, word by word, during a game of Scrabble."

"PARK RANGER: to be a guide you need to be able to name all the animals ME: no problem [later w/ a group] ME: that's Greg, & that's Linda..."

"What do you call an ugly dinosaur? An Isaurus Rex"

"I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night... I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night and there was a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt."

"Monday I start my new job at PepsiCo. They told me I need to show up with nothing but a Can O' Dew attitude."

"Having sex is a lot like communism... You both give and receive equally, you take turns reading from the communist manifesto, Stalin is there!"

"Santa at an interview in an IT Company. Manager: Do you know MS Office? Santa: If you give me the address, I will go there sir."

"Q. What's pink and fluffy? A. Pink fluff. Q. What's blue and fluffy? A. Pink fluff holding its breath Q. What's green and fluffy? A. Moss."

"I like my women how I like my weather moist and unstable."

"I don't think of women as just nice tits, a sweet ass, a pretty face or any single one of their parts... ... I think of them as a hole."