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Joke of the Day

"Yo Mama So Poor.... She can't afford to fly off the handle, when she gets mad, she has to greyhound off the handle."

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"Did you hear about the nation's best farmer? He's out standing in his field."
"My wife once told me that she ingested fecal matter while in the womb I like to give her crap about it."
"I always yell ""I'm not masturbating!"" when someone knocks on my office door so they know I'm not masturbating."
"For every cigarette you smoke God takes away 1 year of your life and gives it to Hugh Hefner."
"What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wipes his butt"
"If you piss me off bad enough and tell me to leave you alone, I will take 30 Adderall and send you cat pictures every 3 minutes for 6 days."
"If I had a time machine I'd go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the shit out of people with an electric toothbrush."
"Does syria have any walmarts? No, only targets."
"Freudian analysts How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?? Sex"
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