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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the peanut in the hospital? He was assaulted."

"I turned into a cat earlier Don't ask meow"

"I'm trying to explain Twitter to this cop. He still wants to know why I'm driving naked."

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Arrr Matey!"

"I have to say to you something... something."

"My ex was gang raped by a troupe of mime artists. They performed unspeakable acts on her."

"What's the best thing to come out of a penis? The wrinkles."

"What's the difference between necrophilia and a pizza? Even if it is cold it's still good."

"What did it mean when they found bones on the moon? The cow didn't make it."

"Everyone criticizes the Salem Witch Trials, but we haven't had a witch attack in over 200 years."