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Joke of the Day

"Where did they hang Speedy Gonzalez? At the pico de gallows."

"Your an idiot. -You're. What? -You're not your. But I said it. I didn't type it. We're talking. -Yeah but I heard the typo. You're an idiot."

"If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning and you could only save one of them would you go to lunch or read the paper?"

"Leave everyone stranded at a bank robbery to play laser tag when you're the get away driver and suddenly no one is your friend anymore"

"Why did Hitler's SS soldiers love animals? They were all veteran aryans"

"What's a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? Free delivery."

"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one."

"A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Alright, I'll serve you, but don't start anything."""

"When my Grandad fell ill the doctor told us to rub olive oil into his back. He went downhill very fast after that."

"I saved my cannibal neighbor's daughter from drowning today. Her father was so grateful he gave me a hand shake. It had some chunks, but it was delicious."