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Joke of the Day

"I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire but I've only come up with one: Lying."

"I know I'll be a good father. I've had my iPhone for over 6 months now and I've only dropped it 182 times so far."

"What is a ghosts favourite job? Tax Inspectre"

"Good news for insomniacs! Only one more sleep until Christmas!"

"Why are there no stray dogs in China? Have you heard of stray chickens?"

"why don't chickens wear underwear... Because their peckers on their face."

"Why does it smell of tires? There are two black people fighting."

"The moral of Little Red Riding Hood is: 1) Never trust strangers; 2) Learn to differentiate facial features between a wild dog & a human."

"Procrastination is just like masturbation It feels good but you wish someone else would just do it for you."

"I was feeling down. My girlfriend told me to go somewhere that I haven't been in a while that would cheer me up. (NSFW) So I stuck it in her ass. I feel much better"