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Joke of the Day

"I know I'll be a good father. I've had my iPhone for over 6 months now and I've only dropped it 182 times so far."

"Don't ever look away from a police officer. Just stare him down. You don't wanna look suspicious."

"How do you know if your girlfriend is ticklish? You give her a test-tickle."

"hunter s. thompson was cool, but there were also tribes that were gatherer s. thompson"

"What Time Do You Go To The Dentist? Tooth - Hurty! XD"

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and kept in the freezer."

"Why can't Melania Trump feel her ass? He's away campaigning."

"Q: What do you call a man who marries an old ugly and poor woman? A: Desperate!"

"Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween; I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors."

"Listening to ska is like a bad hand job... It's all upstrokes"