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Joke of the Day

"When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone."

"My wife showed me her baby photos. She said, ""Here's one of me when I was 3."" I replied, ""Wow, and there's me thinking you were like a fine wine."""

"I got diarrhea while camping last weekend. Shit was in tents."

"I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That shit's totally different."

"Looks like Putin is having Turkey for Thanksgiving aff"

"Did you hear about Michael Jackson's new album? It's called Invincible! *Sent using Microsoft Internet Explorer 6*"

"What's the hardest part about rollerblading? Telling your parents you're gay"

"What's that diving? Is it a bird, Is it a plane... No it's the British Pound..."

"What did the pillar say when he forgot to wish his friend happy birthday? I'll column later."

"Drunk girls whisper in caps lock."