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Joke of the Day

"I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That shit's totally different."

"Dark humour is a lot like food Not everyone gets it"

"Went out to find a spider in my car this morning. So disappointing. I really liked that car."

"I've been staring at this bench press for 3 days now and I feel exactly the same. This ""Weight Watchers"" shit is a hoax."

"My wife used to make meals that would make Martha Stewart jealous. Then she joined Twitter... Now I'm lucky if she buys cereal."

"A little boy asked his father... ""Daddy, what's a transvestite?"" ""Go ask your mother. He'll tell you."""

"Ricky Martin should have waited until Saturday so he could come out the same day as the iPad. Maybe that's what Tom Cruise is waiting for?"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Tryke."

"I've never owned a telescope... But it's something I'm thinking of looking into"

"On autopsy, instead of pumping my stomach to determine what I've eaten in the past 24 hours, a coroner need only look down my cleavage."