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Joke of the Day

"What are the ten greatest years of a woman's life? The ones between 39 and 40."

"I asked my co-worker if she liked Adele.. Co-worker: No, I haven't listened to any of her music actually. Me: Oh! Then you must be rolling in the deep!"

"Time flies like an arrow Fruit flies like a banana"

"I've been called a lot of names but ""designated driver"" was never one of them."

"I hate it when I'm peeing in a public restroom & some motherfucker tries to rob me & I have to fight him while holding my dick."

"Whoever put the 'b' in subtle was a clever bastard."

"Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I've only missed one day"

"I had a friend who had a fear of flying. I told him that statistically, the modern airplane is more afraid of us than we are of it."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the newspaper. Do you get it? Neither did the chicken."

"Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie."