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Joke of the Day

"I asked my co-worker if she liked Adele.. Co-worker: No, I haven't listened to any of her music actually. Me: Oh! Then you must be rolling in the deep!"

"Blinding hatred is a perfectly healthy response to everything that other people do."

"just told my kid ""you're not going to die if you try a piece of lamb"" and she said ""yeah, i'm going to die anyway"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Boise ! Boise who ? Boise ivy !"

"The son tells his dad he just lost his virginity Dad: That's my boy, come sit here and tell me how it was! Son: I can't sit down, dad..."

"Why does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients."

"Oh is it really raining outside? Please post a status update for all of us with no windows."

"[Girlfriend looks at me in disgust] ""Did u just propose using emojis?"" ... ""Technically its called a propoji, but yes"" [She's already gone]"

"Private browsing is for pussys... ... and tits"

"A speech should be like a woman's skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep it interesting!"