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Joke of the Day

"Happy new year! Sorry, I suffer from premature congratulation."

"I heard netflix is going to start putting ads in the middle of shows Netflix and shill"

"I'm bummed out because i was just diagnosed with alzheimer's at least I don't have alzheimer's"

"""Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the tru-"" I choose dare, your honor ""Bailiff, please hi-five the defendant"""

"A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, ""And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"" Annie replied, ""Because people are sleeping"""

"""Do you have Coke"" No, is Pepsi okay ""Do you have updog"" What's updog ""Haha not much and no Pepsi is absolutely not okay"""

"Canada is 50% ""a"""

"You know what the difference is between an chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629"""

"Is it a bird is it a plane well what ever it is its heading straight for the world trade center Tell me if this joke is even funny."