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Joke of the Day

"""Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the tru-"" I choose dare, your honor ""Bailiff, please hi-five the defendant"""

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew? Santa Claus goes down the chimney."

"Conjunctivitis.com... ""Conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes"" - A Tim Vine joke, just thought I'd share."

"Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust."

"Why was the lightning bug unhappy? Because her children were not very bright."

"I told a man I was voting third party He said, ""That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"" ""Simple,"" I replied, ""I'd pick the bullet."""

"(Not a joke) Can have some flairs for the type of joke? So we'll know which jokes are One-liners,short,long,punny,and anti-humor"

"9 out of 10 dentists agree: the 10th dentist is a dog, not a dentist. the 10th dentist argues that dogs can b dentists too"

"Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Sheep can hear zippers."

"The last 60+ Miss Universe pageant winners have been from earth I don't know man, seems fixed."