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Joke of the Day

"They say you have safety in numbers... Sure, tell *that* to 6,000,000 Jews. [Source](http://youtu.be/Rzb_p1mRW1M?t=4m48s) I really recommend watching the entire video though, it's hilarious."

"The longer you sleep the more sleep you need. The more you eat the bigger is your appetite."

"A pizza delivery guy knocks on the door Two men answer the door and invite him inside. They ask him if he wants to have a threesome. He replies, ""just the tip please""."

"Why did the chicken cross the school yard? To get to the other slide!"

"Today I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"B2.... or not B2... That might be the number. --Shakespearean Bingo Caller"

"whenever the police put a mannequin in a squad car to slow traffic, I strategically place mannequins around town committing crimes"

"Me: Why am I still single? Brain: You're weird as shit. Body:You're fat. Face:You're pretty ugly. Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you."

"Understanding women is like... Smelling the color 3."

"My friend wanted to give me a free puppy... I did not accept because their mother was a real bitch."