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Joke of the Day

"I'm 34 and live with my mom. Just kidding... ... I'm 33."

"What's the difference between god and an engineer God doesn't walk around thinking he's a fuckin engineer. (Told to me by a millwright)"

"""Hey, did you hear about the blonde that lost over 85% of her intelligence?"" ""No, actually. How'd it happen?"" ""I dunno, but I hear that it happened at around the same time her husband died."""

"I'm developing a new dandruff shampoo designed specifically for pubic hair. I'm going to call it Knees and Toes."

"I was the top student at Ninja school, but I failed because they kept marking me absent."

"What's the difference between a potato and a chickpea? You wouldn't pay to have a potato on you."

"My girlfriend cheated on me with the Pillsbury dough boy Now she has a yeast infection."

"What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar? ""AU, get outta here!"""

"I rang my boss and asked him ""what is the difference between work and your daugter?"" ""I won't be coming into work today!"""

"Did you hear about the bedbug? He was undercover."