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Joke of the Day

"Twitter is like a dorm, someone is always up at every hour, someone is crying and someone is drunk."

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"A little boy asks his Dad a question A little boy says, Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' Son,' says the dad. That happens everywhere.'"
"Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe."
"Some French words have silent t's, like ""ballet"" and ""tbonjour"""
"""ARGHH A HOUSE SPIDER"" [spider removes earbuds] ""yah actually im more into ambient trance but whatever"""
"My Aunt Rosie has sent me so many Candy Crush invites that I've legitimately stopped loving her"
"What do you call a worthless priest? holy shit."
"I would say go with the bigger penis But I really want Trump to win"
"The waiting list for the WiiU.... Just got shorter in Conneticut"
"If someone says you're not a mermaid, don't talk to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life."
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