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Joke of the Day

"A science major says ""What's it made of?"" An engineering major says ""How is it made?"" An arts major says... ""Would you like fries with that?"""

"*Batman happily approaches Batmobile* Wife: Forget it, Bruce! We have two car seats & need to go to Costco. *Defeatedly gets in Batvan*"

"*First Date* Her: Hobbies? *thinks about the 50,000 piece Lego Death Star I'm building* Me: Architecture and Astronomy. Her: Impressive."

"My milkshake brought a colony of extremely aggressive fire ants to my yard. :("

"What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator!"

"Irish girl What does an Irish girl do after she's sucked cock? Spits out the feathers."

"I told my mom that bukkake is Japanese for bundt cake... I hope I'm there when she orders dessert at the steak house."

"What's better: A Parachute Jump or a BJ of a 90 year old? doesn't matter... must not look down.."

"Did you hear they're making a holistic version of Star Wars? It's based on darth vadar's holistic brother, Ayur Veder."

"Smelled my finger after I took the bandaid off of it. Don't do that."