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Joke of the Day

"I didn't want to believe my flatmate was stealing from his job as highway maintenance ...but when I got home all the signs were there."

"Lets get freaky. I mean really Freaky. Like I can't look you in the eye for two days kinda freaky."

"Godzilla vs. A Floor Scattered With Legos"

"My teacher actually said this to us before out computing exam... Pupil: ""Will we be able to use the calculator in the exam?"" Sir: ""No, it will be disabled just like you"" No joke, he actually said that"

"We don't serve time machines A Time machine walks into a bar"

"So he left. We don't serve your kind here, says the bartender. A tachyon walks into a bar."

"A vintage coin only sells for .02 cents at an auction Needless to say, he felt under appreciated."

"Boys, if you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look like Victoria's Secret Angels."

"Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices"

"Hey, people who don't properly re-seal your half empty bags of potato chips... what's it like eating spider eggs?"