18361

Joke of the Day

"My teacher actually said this to us before out computing exam... Pupil: ""Will we be able to use the calculator in the exam?"" Sir: ""No, it will be disabled just like you"" No joke, he actually said that"

"What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot you racist freaks!"

"[at pet store] ""This tortoise's shell keeps going soft. Am I doing something wrong?"" ""No, it happens. It's just a reptile dysfunction."""

"I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team."

"I'm so hungry I could eat this piece of paper. *adds salt to resume*"

"Definition of laziness:"

"Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands? Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is..."

"The element of surprise is the best element on the periodic table Because you don't even know it's there."

"What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl? Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)"

"Mad cow disease wears off and eventually you're just tired with a cow disease."