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Joke of the Day

"A vintage coin only sells for .02 cents at an auction Needless to say, he felt under appreciated."

"""This is not the Droid you're looking for."" - Obi Wan helping Yoda pick out a new phone"

"No, I'm not damaging my liver. I'm about to sterilize it using alcohol."

"Whenever I see a teenager, I can't help thinking"" holy shit"" was I really THAT fucking stupid once?"

"I was desperate for a job, so my friend offered me one as a test subject in a wind tunnel But i wasnt a fan"

"How is Daniel Craig a policeman? He is in Spectre (Inspector)"

"I like my men like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer"

"My girlfriend says I'm an idiot with money. But I'm tellin' ya, she's wrong! I'm an idiot with no money!"

"Does Adam Sandler know that he's allowed to turn down movie roles?"

"My friend told me a story about how he lost his index finger tip. It was a bit point-less."