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Joke of the Day

"So a blind man walks into a fish market... When he gets in he stops takes a big ol wiff and says,""Good morning ladies!"""

"Why did the mission control operator tell the astronauts not to eat any food? She saw some off-nom telemetry."

"Musicians are perverts. The drummer sits in the back beating it, the guitarist is constantly fingering minors, the bassist is slapping it around, and they all like the pianist."

"Did you haer about the dyslexic insomniac atheist? He would spend all night long awake thinking about whether or not there was a dog."

"My Bathroom I've decided to call my bathroom the Jim instead of the John. It sounds better when I tell folks I go to the Jim every morning."

"Does everyone have a weird Facebook acquaintance that comments on all their shit, or is it just me?"

"How do you fix the dishwasher? Smack her."

"it's been 12 years since Shrek came out, I still can't get over the fact that Donkey had sex with a dragon.."

"Doctor doctor I feel dead from the waist down. I'll arrange for you to be halfburied."

"What does Santa listen to while delivering presents? sleigh-er"