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Joke of the Day

"I have no time for stupid people But they sure do have time for me."

"ME: I made you some coffee! It's even double filtered... fancy right? WIFE: ME: WIFE: couldn't separate the coffee filters could you? ME: no"

"I've spotted six Pokemon today but I don't have the Pokemon GO app so it may just be that I need my new meds adjusted."

"They say men are 3 times as likely to be struck by lightning than women Because lighting is 1/3 as likely to strike in the kitchen"

"What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law? Haram Bay"

"Vagina Steak (nswf) Today my husband asked me if my vagina was ""medium well"" yet? Pink but not bloody."

"NSFW Why is driving in the snow a lot like eating pussy? Because if you're not careful you might slide into the asshole in front of you"

"Food is like dark humor. Not everybody gets it."

"My girlfriend asked me: ""If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"" And I answered: ""Of course! I'd miss you, but I still love you"""

"I have an addiction to snorting powdered fruit drink mix... Anybody got a punch line?"