182046

Joke of the Day

"Government - 'Um, we're having big issues with tax evasion. People are stashing away notes with large denominations.' Modi: 'Have you tried turning them off and and on again?'"

"To best understand men, you need to grasp the following: 1. They think with their pen!s 2. They wanna fix everything 3. They wanna fix everything with their pen!s"

"My position on marijuana is slumped in a beanbag chair."

"Some day I have a victim mentality But it's not my fault"

"[Me chasing 12 greyhounds round a race track] YOU'LL GET TIRED EVENTUALLY. THEN I WILL PET YOU!"

"""Did anyone else's house get burglarized and have horrible music put on all their devices..........oh U2?"""

"Most women who've dated me will tell you I'm about an 8 on the pain scale."

"Why did the insomniac get arrested? He resisted a rest."

"Why wouldn't the man dance? His pants had no ballroom."

"I guess this is why they don't let kids be lawyers You just know one would've gotten Jared off."