181940

Joke of the Day

"For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater. So they gave him a sumo wrestler!"

"Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong."

"I now have an EpiPen My friend gave it to me when he was dying. It seemed really important that I have it, I will cherish forever."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid money for a garbanzo to bean on me."

"I once submitted 10 puns to a contest to see which one would win. No pun in 10 did."

"Me: you want to end the date night with some bubbly? Wife: sure *I pour vinegar and baking soda into the volcano* Wife: this is so romantic"

"I used to date a hoarder, and she broke up with me. That really stings ... I'm like the one thing she could get rid of."

"Everyone complains about immigration until they're searching the city for a decent taco."

"Who do women produce milk for? The baby and the dad."

"Just went down to get my driver's license renewed but this time I made sure I was drunk for the picture. Now if I ever get pulled over for drunk driving, they'll just think I'm spastic."