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Joke of the Day

"Me: you want to end the date night with some bubbly? Wife: sure *I pour vinegar and baking soda into the volcano* Wife: this is so romantic"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR letter to mods AAEEHNPPRWYY"

"I saw a man convulsing on the ground and jacking off... ...I thought he was having a seizure. Turned out he was just having a stroke!"

"Why did the Indian not show up for work? He was Sikh."

"69 I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"What hotel does Link always ask for? HYATT"

"So I was having sex the other day"

"When one door closes, another opens. Also, you can open the closed door. That's how doors work. How do you know so little about doors?"

"[Drug deal] How do I know you're not a cop -If I was a cop would I do this? *Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is"