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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dim monster and a birthday candle? The candle is a thousand times brighter!"

"[family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock"

"If a dove represents peace which bird represents true love? The swallow."

"I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution...."

"Which rabbit is a famous comedian? Bob Hop."

"A black guy and a white guy were playing basketball in a jail. The black guy won. Do you want to know why? The black guy had home advantage. IM NOT A RACIST, PLS SENPAIS"

"I hugged someone once and they expected it every time they saw me. I'll never do that again."

"Don't forget to tell everyone how you love Fridays because we were all wondering how you feel about them."

"""ring on the wrong finger"" A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? . B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman."

"I nominate Chris Brown to dump a bucket of boiling hot water on himself & to raise awareness for domestic violence."